What a great house. Mainly attributed to the fact that it contains such a great number. 5. The amount of appendages on a Star Fish, the name of the 80's most popular drink 5-alive (though some would still argue that was Um Bongo) but most importantly what all of your friends will give you a high one of when they see quite how incredible your new house is. Sorry, I've confused myself a little bit - I'm alluding to the fact that they'll give you a high 5. God, that was tedious wasn't it.
Sorry, back to reality... so, the nitty gritty. 5 amazeballs bedrooms (I'm trialling that word - it doesn't really work, does it?), a superlounge (which is like the love child of a kitchen, lounge and dining room), 2 full bathrooms, a massive yard and a general feeling of envy from all your mates who come over to see you for an epic yard party!
Oooooh this is big!! It has really high ceilings, so if you're into pogo sticking or have a remote controlled helicopter then this is the place of your dreams.
There are 5 great bedrooms, though a couple are really HUGE so you'll best be the first through the door to baggsy the best one. That said, if you plump for the smallest then you might be able to convince your mates to let you pay less - more money for the pub! And there are 2 full bathrooms plus an extra loo. Crikey, you've almost got a toilet each!
There's a tellybox in the lounge, so no arguments about who's goes communal and it has freeview too, so if you're not satisfied with the rubbish that normal channels churn out, you'll have access to billions more.
The astute amongst you may have realised that we're not really a normal letting agency. So much so that there's only really 2 of us - both of whom are awesome. One slightly more so, but that's a matter of opinion.
What we can promise - cross our hearts and hope to die - is that we will treat you as if you were our own children if you live in one of our properties. And by that we don't mean we'll sub you money and do your laundry - in fact, if you stop paying your rent we'll come and duff you up. Bet your mum wouldn't do that, huh?
Contrary to popular belief, this is NOT where Byker Grove was set. That said, I think that Ant and Dec did once walk past the house on the way to the Bingo up the road, so that's claim to fame enough for me. Oh, and Wor Chezza's mum used to live round the corner, so you might get a glimpse of Chezza coming home to see Mam one day with her new tats. You know why? Because she's worth it
This used to be a great 6 bed flat, but we thought "there's loads of great 6 beds - why don't we make it into an awesome 5 bed", so asked some men to come round with hammers and knock a wall down. Fortunately, the brief was a bit more precise than that and they did the right one and then made it look good again. They even made sure that the person in the now defunct 6th bedroom was out. Man, they weren't happy when they came home :o)
So what to tell you that doesn't make me sound like a shiny suited estate agent It's got a geet big lounge come kitchen come dining room. A loungeitchening room if you will. Decked out with the normal stuff - sofa, fridge freezer and dishwasher - plus some not so normal stuff.
All of the 5 rooms are brilliant - yes, one's a tiny bit smaller but only in comparison to the others - so there shouldn't be too many games of beer pong to decide who gets which. It also has a bathroom, a shower room and an extra toilet. Bonus!
It's just a hop skip and jump from Heaton Perk which is a great cafe, but the last time I saw someone hop skip and jump there, he got chased down the road by a dog.